


a frisson of warmth

by o0JayWolf0o



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Choose Your Own Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Romance, Homophobia, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Suicide, possible suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 11:48:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13546704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0JayWolf0o/pseuds/o0JayWolf0o
Summary: Kyle and Ben have been best friends for as long as they can remember, but when each of them start acting differently around each other, what are they to do, surrounded by disapproval?





	1. choose your ending

**Author's Note:**

> youve probably noticed this has been posted before. i had issues and had to delete it but im back with two endings because the school writing competition allowed that. so here. choose your ending. this story is only 1900 words long, not 3200. sorry.

* * *

[happy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13546704/chapters/31081101) or [sad](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13546704/chapters/31081134)?

* * *

 **happy**  chapter  **two**  

 **sad**  chapter  **three**

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you chose the happy ending.

Kyle Fumer rounded the corner, books from Mrs. Hade in his hands and backpack heavy on his shoulders. Lately, he hadn't been paying attention in class - and, as much as he would tell Mrs. Hade that he was simply distracted by home, he knew the real reason his notice was elsewhere: he'd been thinking about Ben.

For almost all his life, Ben Rowell had been his best friend. They knew each other better than anyone, had shared secrets they'd not dare whisper to others, and had so many memories that by now Kyle couldn't begin to think of all of them. Truly, Kyle could trust Ben with anything - except this.

Recently, Kyle had noticed the smaller things about Ben - the way he laughed, his awkward habits, his nervous stutter - and couldn't seem to place his finger on  _why_. Until now, of course. The way he acted around Ben had changed, too - he seemed to be much more nervous, careful of what he said, and distracted.

Kyle's pretty sure he's gay.

And while that's a totally fine thing to him - he had friends from other states who'd gone out with the same gender and he could care less - it wasn't  _good_  because of how he lived. His entire town was homophobic, save for a few of the open-minded girls in the reading club. His parents, too, had always shunned people for it. Matter of fact, Kyle's dad had come out as gay a few years after he and his mom's divorce, and Ms. Rowell had been so disgusted she'd reported him to the sheriff. Of course, the sheriff couldn't do much, but it was still painful to think about.

The good thing, though, was that Ben was bi. He had been ever since 7th grade when he confessed to Kyle that he liked some kid - Charlie was his name. It had never worked out, sadly, but that was fine because the kid had to move away soon after anyway. Only Kyle, though, knew that Ben was bi.

Kyle had  _also_  noticed that Ben seemed to act roughly the same way when near Kyle. Flustered, distracted, nervous - all fit the profile. But Kyle couldn't be sure he felt the same and didn't speak of it.

Tonight, they were going to hang out at Ben's and watch Pixels, their favorite movie. They'd watched it about 3 times now, but it never truly got old. Both Kyle and Ben were  _huge_ gamers, always playing first-person shooters and even ranking in PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds because they'd been playing it so often. So when the bell to the school rang, announcing the student's departure, Kyle grinned, making a beeline to Mr. Yarrow's room. Mr. Yarrow was Ben's homeroom teacher, so he was bound to be collecting whatever left he had gathered from the day and shoving it into his backpack. When he entered, he was proven correct, as the brown-haired boy was just slinging on his pack.

"Oh- hey, Kyle!" Ben exclaimed, green eyes sparkling.

"Yo. C'mon, I can't wait to go see Pixels - and Ollie, of course." Ollie was Ben's Doberman, a big dog with a big heart.

Ben chuckled lightly, a smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, now that that dumb cone is off his head he's been excited as ever. I think he might even miss you," he teased.

"Hey, of course he misses me. I'm the coolest person he knows," Kyle remarked.

"Haha, yeah right," Ben snickered, "I'm way cooler than you."

Kyle hummed teasingly. "Are you sure about that, my good sir? I'm fairly certain Ollie comes to  _me_  for peanut butter on his best days."

Ben giggled again, ending the conversation then. Kyle told himself that  _no,_  he wasn't blushing, and no, his stomach wasn't all tingly inside. Forcing down the smile that threatened to break on his face, he followed Ben to his home.

* * *

After Kyle had dropped his backpack off at his house, he joined Ben, hopping on his couch as the scent of freshly popped popcorn wafted over him. Snacks were laid out over the table - bowls of M&M's, skittles, suckers, chips, and more - and Ben was on the couch, smiling at the ready. Kyle plopped down, swiping a sucker from a bowl and clutching the remote in his hand.

"You ready to start this?" Kyle tried his best to impersonate an announcer.

"Heck yeah!" Ben cheered, stealing the remote from Kyle, their hands brushing briefly.

For the first quarter of the movie, neither of the boys focused much. They kept talking about their favorite characters to one another and munching on snacks. Ben had to use the bathroom, once, and when he returned, he was sitting much closer to Kyle - their knees nearly touching.

Right now, Sam was flirting with Violet - a scene both of the boys admittedly hated. Kyle only spared a few glances to the movie, however, because his eyes were focused on the way Ben kept toying with his hands.  _Weird._

Instead of acknowledging it, Kyle leaned back, continuing to watch the movie.

It passed as every other night would. A train of emotions when the credits rolled, cleaning up the horrendous mess on the table, sweeping up crumbs. On these nights, Kyle would stay over. so they did just that, running up the stairs to Ben's bedroom.

Kyle felt strange though. And he did know why - he kept thinking, couldn't get his mind off the little things about Ben. He felt like he had butterflies fluttering around in his stomach every time he spared a glance to the boy. So when they started playing video games and knocking each other around, you can imagine how Kyle felt.

"Oh, woah, he's behind you," Ben murmured, focused on the screen. They were playing PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, or PUBG for short, on doubles, but Ben had died early on.

"Thanks," Kyle replied, breathless. Playing video games always got him exhilarated, and with the combined thought of Ben sitting on the bed behind him, currently messing around with his hair, well... He really was out of breath.

Kyle kept playing the game, with Ben's help, until there were about 3 more teams left. The safe zone was encompassing the players ever so slowly, forcing them to close in on each other.

Ben suddenly whooped. "There's only one person left! The other teams just outed each other!" Kyle grinned. This was his chance to win his first game of PUBG, and right in front of Ben! "There! They're hiding behind that barn," Ben warned.

Kyle quickly adjusted himself as his person stalked forward, gun raised, eyes trained on the corner of the barn. The other player peeked out - but that was their mistake because Kyle shot them clean. The game froze, displaying  _'WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER'_ on the screen, Kyle's kill count in the corner. But they were too busy celebrating to notice.

Whoops and hollers erupted from the duo, and Ben got up and hugged Kyle in excitement. Strangely, however, even after their laughter died, neither made a move to break the embrace, content sitting on the floor and hugging each other. Ben was the first to pull back, embarrassed, a big red blush on his cheeks and a dorky smile on his lips. "Sorry, that was awkward."

Kyle shrugged. "I'dunno, it was fine," he mumbled, looking at his controller that sat on the floor.

"It's just," Ben began, explaining himself, "that was so cool! I've never seen anyone do so good on PUBG. I mean, except for experts, but you know what I mean!"

Kyle chuckled. "So, you're just proud of me?"

Ben simply nodded, seemingly distracted by something. "Er.. Kyle?" Ben murmured, voice quiet.

That perked Kyle's interest. Hearing that small voice sent confusion and dismay to his brain. "What's up?"

Ben opened his mouth but didn't speak, staring at his hands. Then, quickly, randomly, he muttered, "I think I like you."

* * *

Two weeks had last passed since Kyle and Ben had gotten together. They'd been overjoyed at first - hugging, holding hands, kissing, cuddling anywhere private - but lately, they'd been found out. Someone had found them in the bathroom talking about dogs and saw their intertwined hands, and now every student, every teacher shot them nasty looks, shunned them, even went as far as to give them worse grades based on their grammar.

It had taken a pretty big toll on them.

When Kyle's parents had found out, they'd threatened to move away and take all his electronics away so he'd never get to talk to Ben again. So they faked a breakup, but even then they weren't allowed to go to each other's houses. They had to chat with Discord, only seeing each other at school or when they'd walk outside and see the other in their yard. Being neighbors was both a blessing and a curse - being so near yet not being able to visit.

So they planned. During school, passing notes secretly, murmuring things to each other during lunch, coding messages so their mothers wouldn't read them. Kyle had a grandmother that, when called, had agreed that they could come stay with her as long as they'd want. His grandma didn't contact his mom, however, because they both despised each other. It'd help them stay off the radar.

Once, Ben had asked, "Why are you doing this? You don't have to."

Kyle had responded, after a moment of hesitation, with, "Because you make me happy, and I'd do anything for that."

For two weeks, they packed their things, their clothing, their phones, their toys, and saved money for Uber drivers that'd take them far from their town and carry their luggage. When the day came, they skipped school, meeting at the local park after having left notes for their parents of their departure.

Kyle wrung his hands, nervous, his backpack filled with not school items but his personal belongings, a suitcase in his grip. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Ben inquired softly, concerned.

"Yes." Kyle peeked at his boyfriend, letting a reassuring smile slip from his lips. It was strange - seeing the straight-a Ben Rowell becoming a runaway. He supposed he looked odd too, though, considering he was one of the nicer guys in school suddenly becoming a delinquent for their boyfriend.

The Uber pulled up. It was time to go.

* * *

_"Hey, Kyle?" Ben mumbled, arms sleepily wrapped around Kyle's stomach, head on his chest as he sunk into the bed._

_"Yo," Kyle responded, voice thick with exhaustion from unpacking all day._

_Ben breathed for a moment, pulling the covers above him further._

_"I love you."_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you chose the sad ending.

Kyle Fumer rounded the corner, books from Mrs. Hade in his hands and backpack heavy on his shoulders. Lately, he hadn’t been paying attention in class - and, as much as he would tell Mrs. Hade that he was simply distracted by home, he knew the real reason his notice was elsewhere: he’d been thinking about Ben.

For almost all his life, Ben Rowell had been his best friend. They knew each other better than anyone, had shared secrets they’d not dare whisper to others, and had so many memories that by now Kyle couldn’t begin to think of all of them. Truly, Kyle could trust Ben with anything - except this.

Recently, Kyle had noticed the smaller things about Ben - the way he laughed, his awkward habits, his nervous stutter - and couldn’t seem to place his finger on  _ why _ . Until now, of course. The way he acted around Ben had changed, too - he seemed to be much more nervous, careful of what he said, and distracted.

Kyle’s pretty sure he’s gay.

And while that’s a totally fine thing to him - he had friends from other states who’d gone out with the same gender and he could care less - it wasn’t  _ good _ because of how he lived. His entire town was homophobic, save for a few of the open-minded girls in the reading club. His parents, too, had always shunned people for it. Matter of fact, Kyle’s dad had come out as gay a few years after he and his mom’s divorce, and mom had been so disgusted she’d reported him to the sheriff. Of course, the sheriff couldn’t do much, but it was still painful to think about.

The good thing, though, was that Ben was bi. He had been ever since 7th grade when he confessed to Kyle that he liked some kid - Charlie was his name. It had never worked out, sadly, but that was fine because the kid had to move away soon after anyway. Only Kyle, though, knew that Ben was bi. 

Kyle had  _ also _ noticed that Ben seemed to act roughly the same way when near Kyle. Flustered, distracted, nervous - all fit the profile. But Kyle couldn’t be sure he felt the same, and didn’t speak of it.

Tonight, they were going to hang out at Ben’s and watch Pixels, their favorite movie. They’d watched it about 3 times now, but it never truly got old. Both Kyle and Ben were  _ huge  _ gamers, always playing first-person shooters and even ranking in PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds because they’d been playing it so often. So when the bell to the school rang, announcing the student’s departure, Kyle grinned, making a beeline to Mr. Yarrow’s room. Mr. Yarrow was Ben’s homeroom teacher, so he was bound to be collecting whatever left he had gathered from the day and shoving it into his backpack. When he entered, he was proven correct, as the brown-haired boy was just slinging on his pack.

“Oh- hey, Kyle!” Ben exclaimed, green eyes sparkling.

“Yo. C’mon, I can’t wait to go see Pixels - and Ollie, of course.” Ollie was Ben’s Doberman, a big dog with a big heart.

Ben chuckled lightly, a smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah, now that that dumb cone is off his head he’s been excited as ever. I think he might even miss you,” he teased.

“Hey, of course he misses me. I’m the coolest person he knows,” Kyle remarked.

“Haha, yeah right,” Ben snickered, “I’m way cooler than you.”

Kyle hummed teasingly. “Are you sure about that, my good sir? I’m fairly certain Ollie comes to  _ me _ for peanut butter on his best days.” 

Ben giggled again, ending the conversation then. Kyle told himself that  _ no, _ he wasn’t blushing, and no, his stomach wasn’t all tingly inside. Forcing down the smile that threatened to break on his face, he followed Ben to his home.

* * *

After Kyle had dropped his backpack off at his house, he joined Ben, hopping on his couch as the scent of freshly popped popcorn wafted over him. Snacks were laid out over the table - bowls of M&M’s, skittles, suckers, chips, and more - and Ben was on the couch, smiling at the ready. Kyle plopped down, swiping a sucker from a bowl and clutching the remote in his hand.

“You ready to start this?” Kyle tried his best to impersonate an announcer.

“Heck yeah!” Ben cheered, stealing the remote from Kyle, their hands brushing briefly.

For the first quarter of the movie, neither of the boys focused much. They kept talking about their favorite characters to one another and munching on snacks. Ben had to use the bathroom, once, and when he returned, he was sitting much closer to Kyle - their knees nearly touching. 

Right now, Sam was flirting with Violet - a scene both of the boys admittedly hated. Kyle only spared a few glances to the movie, however, because his eyes were focused on the way Ben kept toying with his hands.  _ Weird. _

Instead of acknowledging it, Kyle leaned back, continuing to watch the movie.

It passed as every other night would. A train of emotions when the credits rolled, cleaning up the horrendous mess on the table, sweeping up crumbs. On these nights, Kyle would stay over. so they did just that, running up the stairs to Ben’s bedroom.

Kyle felt strange though. And he did know why - he kept thinking, couldn’t get his mind off the little things about Ben. He felt like he had butterflies fluttering around in his stomach every time he spared a glance to the boy. So when they started playing video games and knocking each other around, you can imagine how Kyle felt.

“Oh, woah, he’s behind you,” Ben murmured, focused on the screen. They were playing PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, or PUBG for short, on doubles, but Ben had died early on.

“Thanks,” Kyle replied, breathless. Playing video games always got him exhilarated, and with the combined thought of Ben sitting on the bed behind him, currently messing around with his hair, well… He really was out of breath. 

Kyle kept playing the game, with Ben’s help, until there were about 3 more teams left. The safe zone was encompassing the players ever so slowly, forcing them to close in on each other. 

Ben suddenly whooped. “There’s only one person left! The other teams just outed each other!” Kyle grinned. This was his chance to win his first game of PUBG, and right in front of Ben! “There! They’re hiding behind that barn,” Ben warned.

Kyle quickly adjusted himself as his person stalked forward, gun raised, eyes trained on the corner of the barn. The other player peeked out - but that was their mistake because Kyle shot them clean. The game froze, displaying  _ ‘WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER`  _ on the screen, Kyle’s kill count in the corner. But they were too busy celebrating to notice.

Whoops and hollers erupted from the duo, and Ben got up and hugged Kyle in excitement. Strangely, however, even after their laughter died, neither made a move to break the embrace, content sitting on the floor and hugging each other. Ben was the first to pull back, embarrassed, a big red blush on his cheeks and a dorky smile on his lips. “Sorry, that was awkward.” 

Kyle shrugged. “I’dunno, it was fine,” he mumbled, looking at his controller that sat on the floor.

“It’s just,” Ben began, explaining himself, “that was so cool! I’ve never seen anyone do so good on PUBG. I mean, except for experts, but you know what I mean!”

Kyle chuckled. “So, you’re just proud of me?”

Ben simply nodded, seemingly distracted by something. “Er.. Kyle?” Ben murmured, voice quiet.

That perked Kyle’s interest. Hearing that small voice sent confusion and dismay to his brain. “What’s up?”

Ben opened his mouth, but didn’t speak, staring at his hands. Then, quickly, randomly, he muttered, “I think I like you.”

* * *

Two weeks had last passed since Kyle and Ben had gotten together. They’d been overjoyed at first - hugging, holding hands, kissing, cuddling anywhere private - but lately, they’d been found out. Someone had found them in the bathroom talking about dogs and saw their intertwined hands, and now every student, every teacher shot them nasty looks, shunned them, even went as far as to give them worse grades based on their grammar. 

It had taken a pretty big toll on them.

When Kyle’s parents had found out, they’d threatened to move away and take all his electronics away so he’d never get to talk to Ben again. So they faked a breakup, but even then they weren’t allowed to go to each other’s houses. They had to chat with Discord, only seeing each other at school or when they’d walk outside and see the other in their yard. Being neighbors was both a blessing and a curse - being so near yet not being able to visit.

One day, Ben stopped coming to school. It was worrisome, so Kyle had sent him a quick ‘you ok?’ text before he left home. Once he returned, however, after he’d done his chores, after he’d done his homework, he didn’t get a response. So he waited, and waited, until his mom came home from work, eyes stained with mascara that ran from her eyes and stained her cheeks.

“Mom, what happened?” Kyle asked, voice hushed - worried. 

HIs mom didn’t reply at first, taking a tissue and dabbing her red eyes with them. “Ben- he, he’s killed himself!” 

Kyle’s heart skipped a beat. Ben? Ben was gone? He squinted, confused, anxiety stirring in his stomach. He needed to see for himself.

Pushing by his despondent mom, he jumped the fence, took Ben’s key out from under the doormat, and unlocked the house. Ben’s mom seemed to not notice him as he charged, fueled by panic, upstairs, into Ben’s room.

What he was met with was horrifying; a lifeless body roped from the ceiling, hanging, motionless.

Kyle wanted to scream. He wanted to hurl, wanted to cry, wanted to be angry all at once but all he could feel was emptiness. Sadness that he was alone, that Ben had been pushed to what he did.

But, thinking about it, he couldn’t do this alone, either. 

Kyle, only now realizing tears gushed from his eyes, trailed to Ben, taking him off the rope he’d died on and laying him on the bed. With two cold fingers, he shut Ben’s eyes, hiccupping, before settling himself in a way Ben had done much before his death.

The rope was frayed, but strong, coldly clinging to his neck. Kyle had never been suicidal, had never hurt himself purposely, had always been happy, but now, no, he couldn’t bear the thought of living without Ben.

And so, after he’d settled, he sobbed one last time, before the chair below him clattered to the floor and his breath came no longer.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments really appreciated and it makes me feel better so Thanks!   
>  [ tumblr ](https://o0jaywolf0o.tumblr.com)


End file.
